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there's something in my mind, would like to shout out loud..my love i hold inside..never feel great bout it, it seems to eat me piece by piece everyday.. feels like wanna take a gun and shot myself with an excitement bullet so dat when i born again, the life onwards, getting easier and happier..
people surround me, sometimes, annoys me lots, but at one time, i do realized dat, they did dat cez of some weakness inside of me, which i dont know or realized and never will.. why cant jez tell?
i love to think dat everything is easy fer me, i can do everything i want.. but when im on my feet, there's nothing but challenges await fer me to punch back.. and my heart, she does speak honestly, bout me, bout people, bout something.. which i dont trust them all the time.. and turns out to be a mess..
friendship, mostly kills me a lot.. trying to be the best, comfort them, listen to every single words..feels so damn good.. dats wat i will and want to do, to reflect back wat i need them to do to me.. but who am i, to most of them.. fer all the good things i did, its jez the nature to them mostly, and of course, they will ask fer more which i dont mind at all.. but sometimes, i dont wanna help them at all, but she, my heart push me.. and said, go on, help them..dnt think only bout us, bout wat we want, they need u now, as much as u will need them later..today they fall, wat bout 2mrw when we go down deeper?
my heart, broke like thousand times, but she never learned.. she keeps on build it up again, and break, over and over again.. the emotion, flows together with it, sometimes, makes the tears, drain like waterfalls, silence inside, dnt know where to shout out all the worst thoughts dat exploding in my brain.. its getting worst when, i cant even cry.. heartbroken, here all alone.. without anyone to listen to my soft confuse mumbling words.. alone again, with her..
y dez things happened to me? y me? i dont know... wats life try to say? try to teach me? wat? until now, i got no clue.. fly with the wind without one single wing.. how can i survive.. i ask myself everyday.. but, it left unsolved..
laughter, alwiz followed by tears, but why? can we jez be happy? why being happy so hard than being sad? i dont know too.. for u, my heart.. u never stop to give me hope, supports, hold me back together, it feels so good, i wish she never let me go, helps me to get thru this cruel world, alwiz until...one day.... she let me go..
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