who??

y its alwiz me, who being bad here?? i know im bad, but i knoe the limits okay.. who the hell r u to mess my life up again, told everyone including 'mak cik' at my campus, bout me, having boys in my house every nite, and i alwiz go to the boys house?? yeah, i do go to boys's house, but fer wat? not fucking around, im not dat cheap okay..its whether fer discussion or dinner..dats it..

owh i knoe, your life is so damn pathetic dat u involved urself in my fucking life, am i rite, loser? huh?

wat were ur thinking? who the hell u think u are? my parents? u paid my bills? u dont even know me, how come u judge me as simple as dat? u know wat, if i know whoever did diz, im gonna getcha.. my fist is thirst fer blood nowadays.. i dnt care anymore, whether ur a butch or a bitch.. im gonna getcha, seriously..

watch ur butt before u watch mine.. or more appropriately, mind ur own business, okay? u have to pay fer diz..the words u said, one day, u'll chew it back, worst..u think ur nice enuf? maybe ur a loser dat no one wants to be friends with ya..i guess im rite!

stop making me so damn popular, okay..im not looking fer any attention, like u did, so pliz stop being my paparazzi or personal assistant, no thank you!

remember, im gonna getcha............................!

words

get up

Whether it's the sunshine,

Whether it's the rain

Does it make a difference

Do you complain

Whether it's thewater

Coming in from the roof

Does it piss you off

That you're not waterproof

Whether you fall

Means nothing at all

It's whether you get up

And you hate the silence

As it fills up the room

And there's not much to say

To your blushing groom

Maybe all eyes are on you

As you finish the race

And the world sees you struggling

For last place

Whether you fall

Means nothing at all

It's whether you get up

sun of a beach

Dear Mr. Darmawan

Come take a walk with me

Let's pretend we're just two people and

You're not better than me

I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly

What do you feel when you see all the student failed

Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep

What do you feel when you look in the mirror

Are you proud

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry

How do you dream when our parents has no money to pay the bills

How do you walk with your head held high

Can you even look me in the eye

And tell me why

Dear Mr. Darmawan

Were you a lonely boy

Are you a lonely boy

Are you a lonely boy

How can you say

Nothing happened

We're not dumb and we're not blind

They're all sitting in your cells

While you pay the road to hell

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away

And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were right

I can only imagine what your lady has to say

You've come a long way from nothing to something spoiled

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry

How do you dream when parents has no money to pay the bills

How do you walk with your head held high

Can you even look me in the eye

Let me tell you bout hard work

Make the system works

Let me tell you bout hard work

Rebuilding your system so dat we all can study well

Let me tell you bout hard work

We bust our butt all nite long studying

Let me tell you bout hard work

Hard work

Hard work

You don't know nothing bout hard work

Hard work

Hard work

Oh

How do you sleep at night

How do you walk with your head held high

Dear Mr. Darmawan

You'd never take a walk with me

Would you..no u wouldnt!

the truth is u never care fer anything except money!!!

heart and lost

Heart...

i love this person so damn much..this person, i refer as Heart...

one sweet day, i met Heart, Heart is lovely, kind and very sophisticated person.. Heart got an attitude dat nobody has..dat y i love Heart..Heart used to say to me, dat im kinda flirtatious, cez everytime Heart looked at me, Heart felt really nervous, which i have no idea dat im dat kinda person.. im a 'not look in the eye' kinda person, how can Heart addressed me as a flirtatious person? i dnt know.. but one thing dat alwiz make me wonder, Heart told me dat 'i saw something great in ya'.. which i dont know wat dat is until now..

so, we went to diz club, Heart said 'im nervous, cez i cant dance'..but i pulled Heart's hand and we danced into the music..Heart looked like never dance before at first, but suddenly Heart took my hand, and whispered, 'i will rock ur world tonite'.. i was thinking dat Heart maybe joking, but Heart didnt.. Heart danced like an expert, and people around us, keep on applauding and shouting like hell, then, Heart took my hand, and we danced together jez like nobody around and the stage is ours..then i told Heart.. 'becez u've lied to me, u owe me something'.. Heart smiled..

the crowd love us and joinned us dancing..and at one moment, Heart went to the stage, and guess wat, Heart sang me a song, really nice song.. its 'You look Beautiful Tonite'.. damn! i think at dat time, i am the happiest person ever!

but, happiness dsnt hug me dat long, after few months, Heart had an accident.. and Heart left me forever.. i dont know, wats gonna happen to me next, but Heart do told me once..'if anything happens to me, dont be sad, move on and enjoy ur sweet life..jez remember, i will alwiz love u..' .. at dat time, when i heard dat, i felt like wanna slap Heart hardly, but now i know, Heart is warning me bout something..something painful dat i have to face one day, and its dat day when Heart left me.. i saw Heart's eyes before Heart left me...all i said to Heart is 'dnt leave me, please...i love u'..i cried like hell, but Heart looked at me and smiled before Heart closed Heart's eyes..

Heart, u will alwiz in my heart and i will remember all the great memories we had..u held my hand when i got nobody to hold on to..ur the best thing i ever had in my whole life.. i miss u, may God bless u..

sad little gurl

this one gurl, i dnt like her, not hate but dont like her.. she thinks dat, her close friends love her so damn much dat they get her into the group..owh gurl.. i can see how they treat u..they jez bullshitting u..they look so nice in front of you, but at the back, they told everybody, including me, dat they hate u..ur annoying, and not worth it..

hey, look around ya..i dnt care bout u, either..but i dnt treat u bad in front of ya..i mean, if i dont like fer wat u did, i say it on ur face, its better than talk at ur back..and pretend so damn nice in front of ya..or i dont know, maybe u like it dat way..

all the things u told me, i listen, cez maybe u need a friend..and after u done with ur problems, u left me, its okay, but u return to them again, dats a bless to me and u got urself into a shithole..i dnt want u to stick around with me all the time, but jez want u to know, dat, its better be friends to the one u told me about, than them, who stab u at the back.. the one, u told me bout, dat u hate so much, she's not as bitchy as them..open ur eyes..

and u know wat, they told me, they hate when u come towards them, join them and they said to me 'hey, can u jez let her sit beside ya, cez we dont like her and she talks too much bout her problems, and we dnt like listening to doz shit stories, and one more thing, actually can u jez take her away from us?'..

but u dnt realized dat dont cha..yeah, i know u look so damn happy with them..when u with them, u talk like ur kinda popular gurl, talk shit to me, and then u come to me when they dnt want ya.. who the hell u think u are? no wonder they dont like u.. at diz point, cant blame them..

but gurl, im telling u diz, one day, if u ever get hurt by them, dnt come to me.. i dont like u either.. the words u use to talk to me, aint no respect at all..na'ah, dat is not the way.. so, if u want me to pick u up when u down, dont even think about it..i aint no toy like u..

great couple

this is a story bout a gurl, who thinks dat she's the most powerful girl on earth.. smells conflict and drama? yes it is!

when i first met her, she's kinda kind, but i sense something strange the way she talks, no judgement, but yeah, the first impression alwiz rite.. i give her a chance, told myself not to be too judgemental.. but its true, when she kinda, put me into a shit hole..she told everyone, im a big mouth, talking at the back bout her.. hey, pliz gurl, aint nothing to talk bout ya, who the hell u think u are..u aint dat popular, gurl..

everyone knows bout diz, but they jez dnt believe me, until one day, they experienced the same thing.. and now, they realized dat, im right..they all hate her..its the 'i know everybody likes me, im the top of the world, listen to me dummies' kinda attitude she has, makes me laugh like hell.. hey, gurl grow up..open ur eyes, nobody wants to be friends with ya..now ur making everyone turns out to be a big mouth..i think i shud make a team, the big mouth team..!

i guess, i shud trust my first impression..she alwiz tells the truth..

and to doz who dont get dat kinda thing with her yet, jez beware.. not saying dat, u cant talk to her, its jez, dont get close to her, she will bite ya, and one more thing if u do, her bf will come and get cha.. its the bitch and the butch, babe! they deserve each other..look, finally someone meets her match..! the most awful couple of the year and onwards!

honest or brain damage?

i got ya a fact!

.. u know, some people, they jez talk and talk, not knowing dat, the people they're talking to, are offended.. and this morning, my doctor said dat, these kinda people have a problem with their brain.. wow! i tot its jez the nature, i mean, its the attitude of some people, but definitely, its the attitude comes along with a damage in the brain.. but dont wery, its kinda small slight, not like total damage, u know.. wat to do, with doz people with this kinda attitude, we cant take any hard feelings, cez they, how to put diz, ummm.. they are slightly retarded! hahahaha...

Wat bout honesty? do they have any connection with these? honesty and brain damage?

fer me, being honest is something dat we have or we got to do, not from nature.. i mean, we think first how to say anything honestly, the consequences, and others feelings before we say anything..u got wat i mean? yeah..

but the syndrome up there, they are spontaneous, they were born like dat.. can they change? umm...sorry, man.. unfortunately they cant..pretty scary huh? but its true..damn!

stress

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shhhh... speak quietly, some might dont wanna hear anything from u.. y does everybody loves lecturering? they jez say wat they wanna say without any point.. and some friends, when their friend had a problem, all they did, is not calm them down, but they keep on talking and making their friend feel more intense.. come on, dnt do dat, gv them some time, they will tell, jez skip the topic, and cheer them up..is dat too much to ask? and some of them, when they are intense or stress, they love to be alone.. spend their time alone..dnt wanna talk, but if u were diz type, u better not keep it to urself, it will cause something bad..cez, u dnt talk..we dnt know wats happening to u..we are ur friend, we would love to help u, darlin..at least, cry on my shoulder..do anything together that makes u feel better..we love u, u know dat dont u?

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cry and cry, fer women, its the best medicine eva..when a woman, have problems they cant even say a word and dont know how to handle, all they do is cry all day long.. cez the emotions, dont care how tough they were, they still cry.. maybe its in the gene.. but seriously, cry loud, can make all the sadness inside dissapears.. and at dat time, they need someone to hug them and tell them ''its gonna be okay'' and some can see, she stops crying and smile..dat feels so gud, seeing she smiles again, dont u?

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smoking... causing lung cancer.. but if they knew bout diz, why they still smoke? some might say dat it can prevent stress.. chocolate? if its a dark chocolate, yeah, its fine.. others, cause fat! dnt u know dat, some facts said dat, smoking can prevent alzheimer and parkinson syndrome.. i guess, people who came out with dat kinda fact, do smoke.. to feel better, i guess.. its the best painkiller ever, they said..better than commit suicide..lot more better fer sure! and some said dat, if u married to a smoker guy, there is a potential to get only daughters..no boys.. unfortunately, it proves a lot.. some of my friends, their dad is a smoker, their siblings all girls.. i dnt know..

maybe coinsidence or maybe its true.. depends..i guess..

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she

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

there's something in my mind, would like to shout out loud..my love i hold inside..never feel great bout it, it seems to eat me piece by piece everyday.. feels like wanna take a gun and shot myself with an excitement bullet so dat when i born again, the life onwards, getting easier and happier..

people surround me, sometimes, annoys me lots, but at one time, i do realized dat, they did dat cez of some weakness inside of me, which i dont know or realized and never will.. why cant jez tell?

i love to think dat everything is easy fer me, i can do everything i want.. but when im on my feet, there's nothing but challenges await fer me to punch back.. and my heart, she does speak honestly, bout me, bout people, bout something.. which i dont trust them all the time.. and turns out to be a mess..

friendship, mostly kills me a lot.. trying to be the best, comfort them, listen to every single words..feels so damn good.. dats wat i will and want to do, to reflect back wat i need them to do to me.. but who am i, to most of them.. fer all the good things i did, its jez the nature to them mostly, and of course, they will ask fer more which i dont mind at all.. but sometimes, i dont wanna help them at all, but she, my heart push me.. and said, go on, help them..dnt think only bout us, bout wat we want, they need u now, as much as u will need them later..today they fall, wat bout 2mrw when we go down deeper?

my heart, broke like thousand times, but she never learned.. she keeps on build it up again, and break, over and over again.. the emotion, flows together with it, sometimes, makes the tears, drain like waterfalls, silence inside, dnt know where to shout out all the worst thoughts dat exploding in my brain.. its getting worst when, i cant even cry.. heartbroken, here all alone.. without anyone to listen to my soft confuse mumbling words.. alone again, with her..

y dez things happened to me? y me? i dont know... wats life try to say? try to teach me? wat? until now, i got no clue.. fly with the wind without one single wing.. how can i survive.. i ask myself everyday.. but, it left unsolved..

laughter, alwiz followed by tears, but why? can we jez be happy? why being happy so hard than being sad? i dont know too.. for u, my heart.. u never stop to give me hope, supports, hold me back together, it feels so good, i wish she never let me go, helps me to get thru this cruel world, alwiz until...one day.... she let me go..

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nu hobby

my fren, introduced me to this nu hobby, cez i came to him with a boring face all the time, suddenly, he asked me to play this guitar..its hard, and my fingers feel numb, but at least i have a nu hobby aite..

the first song i hit, is zombie..its hard but i keep on trying and my housemate, andy, alwiz knock ma door, listens and teaches me some of other song's keys.. so, im kinda enjoy it, but, now, he took dat guitar back, so, i feel so damn bored now.. imran, its okay.. its ur obsession, me jez a beginner.. but i love to experience nu things like diz, blogging when i dnt know wat to do..

nice vid dat can light up ur day...

come on guys, check diz vid out! its a great dance performance, by wade robson..

the moves and the song really match! enjoy!

emotions

laugh, i love to laugh! laugh to tears..hahaha..my frens, at dat point they will like do this kinda weird face and make lots of jokes and get myself crazy..they said i look funny when i laugh..damn, feels so gud..! but tickles, dsnt applies to me..huhu, na'ah..

...................................................................................................

i got shy, when people give me unnecessary compliments, at unnecessary place..im a shy lady, eventhough i look like a tough one..i cant even look any one's eyes when he or she talks, even my dad, i jez cant..my dad used to mad at me, cez when he talked to me, i never look at him..finally he realized dat, im kinda shy person..haha, funny huh? but when i get mad, all i wanna look is in his or her eyes! damn, im weird!

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when i feel so sad, i jez love to clean up my whole bedroom, eventhough there's no mess..i juz, love to get myself bz all the time, so dat doz sad feelings in my head, in my heart fly away and with dat i will feel free again.. nobody knows wat i want, even myself get confuse..but wat i know fer sure, i want my closest wat i call them friends, to understand me, treat me well..yeah, we shudnt expect they will treat us like we treat them..but at least, all i want is, they dont hurt my feelings, is dat too much to ask? its jez, pliz say anything dat u dont like bout me on my face, not at my back..eventhough its hard, i'll accept the weakness of me, and i'll try to change it, not a promise but i'll try.. pliz..

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and i got so damn mad when, doz who i called friends, made up some bad stories bout me or something dat i dont do, but smiles and pretend like nothing happens..and when i knew it, i jez dnt talk to them or look at their face.. dats it fer me, enough! but wat i hate most bout me, if they asked fer help, i will help them, damn!