pretty lady

last 2 weeks, i went to some place called 'Malang'.. fer sports, i played volleyball..and we won, first place! yeah.. dats not the point actually, i met a girl..cant remember her name..diz might sounds weird but its true..slowly adapt diz kay..

yeah, diz gurl, came to me, she said 'hey, still remember me?'.. i go like 'urm, not really..sorry'.. she goes like, 'how come u already forget bout me, we met at Jogjakarta before'..i go like, 'still, dnt remember..wat bout we start it again? my name is...' she cuts in, 'i know, i remember u..' i go like so awkward at dat time.. and jez smile.. then she walked away... i kept thinking and remembering, who the hell is dat pretty lady, and it turns out to be na'ah, cant remember!

dat night, Malang threw out a dinner, there, i met her again.. she came to me, touched my back, and jez walked away smilling.. omg! well, she's pretty.. but urgh.. she's a she..

i went to my table, accidentally looked at her, there she goes, smilling again..and winks..damn it! if only im a man, im surely get down on her immediately..

dinner's over, she came to me again, and rubbed my face..wat i did, i said 'c ya again'.. she said, 'sure, wait fer me'... oMg again!!!! awkward it is, but y am i keep on smilling like shit??

im so damn happy, when i know dat someone wants me, loves me, care fer me, being there fer me, its like means the world to me..

but why all of sudden, everything flew away like the dust in the wind? before i put doz things, to the bottom of my black heart.. my love went away, i know whether its hard or hurts, i should let my love go.. its the best fer both of us.. still, i cant forget..

some might say dat, i cant move on, cez of my past..some part, i guess its true..cez im so afraid dat, doz things will come back, smashed me again.. yeah, the right one yet to come, but at some point, im not ready yet.. i dnt wanna break anyone's heart again.. i know how dat feels.. and it hurts like hell..

i hope one day, one love can swipe away doz feelings dat stuck in my heart and take me away.. far far away and live happily ever after jez like a fairytales.. more to the real happiness, no cheat, no faking.. i hope..

feelings

mmmm...looking at people around me, everything reflex to my life.. especially, doz relationships.. how can people cheat on their love ones, i tot, when we love someone, he/she will alwiz be the one.. yeah, people do tell me dat, some feelings, we cant stop when they suddenly hit us.. but i remember a say, 'everybody got dat feelings, but doesnt mean dat we have to act on it'... yeah, i totally agree wit dat..

now i knoe, how it feels like to be the one who been cheated, how my love cheated on me, they found a better love out there, and lonely cez i alwiz not around them..it hurts like hell, but its owkay, all i have to do is, thing positively, past is past, like i will never find a better person.. at some point im glad, i dnt stuck in dat, fer my whole life..

fer doz people who loves to play with others feelings, remember dat, someday, u'll be in dat post and regret wont do a thing.. its karma, baby.. open ur eyes widely..

observe

people,

i cant say dat im the innocence party here, cez i did lots of bad things, back in my old times, but i do learn a lot to survive in diz damn cruel world... i smashed people, fight, i cursed lots, cez i once enjoyed it.. but as the times and ages pass thru me, i now realized lots of things turn wrong, lots of things i dont know, which day by day i try to adapt myself to it...

eventhough after all i've been through, there's better things yet to come.. but few people who are living in my past, i mean seems to act like i was before, alwiz crosses me, everytime i walk, everywhere...

why cant they realized, doz bad things they did will get lots of worst paybacks sooner or later?

and me, keep on enjoying watching doz dramas, as i learn at the same time, and sometimes, i already knew how dat will end cez i've been through the same situations, not all, but some.. and most of it, as i predicted happened.. scray huh? but yeah, u have to be a bad person, to be a better person, in dat way, u will know and choose which one is right and wrong urself and learn....

if u aint know anything, pliz dont try to say anything, jez seat tight and watch.. wats right, u grab it, wats wrong, try to avoid it.. cant say must avoid it, cez people aint dat perfect but try, u shud.. at least...

karma! or wat goes around comes around! fuhh... i hold on to it until now.. scary line, people.. cez the life is like a rollercoaster, today ur at the above as high as the 7th sky, but 2mrw who knows, u'll be at the bottom, so damn deep, as deep as the sea...

trust me, eventhough ive been through a lot, still i cant say dat i had enough.. i keep on learning on things, jez in case i dont repeat my same old mistakes.. give some advises to doz who asks or needs it, if not, i shut myself up and observe...

hate

hate is a big word to say to a so called friend.. when they helped us when we were down, laugh when we're happy.. human alwiz have diz other side of personality dat some might woreship it and some jez dont realized dat sometimes they were wrong... apologizing is way too far when the fucking ego cuts in..

some people enjoy saying anything they like, with the 'its me, its who i am' kinda excuse.. yeah, we understand, ur so outspoken kinda person, but can u even consider someone's feelings, before u say doz words? maybe its true, one is wrong, but there are other ways to talk..

yeap, u might enjoy borned as an outspoken person, not talking back bout everybody, but the way u said it, dats jez so damn wrong and it hurts like hell! and everybody refuses to talk to u, of course becez they dnt wanna listen to dat.. hey, being honest, seriously, mostly it hurts..

is it hard fer ya to understand one's feelings? they do understand u, but why cant u? they try to help u, cez they know, there's nobody else, who wants to share ur shit.. 'they' are the people who are willing to pick u up when u fall, can u show them some appreciation? or u want them to ask fer dat so dat u knew? are u blind or dumb or unfortunately borned retarded? come on!

start respect people before they let u be so damn far far down, and jez watch while u crash and burn.. is dat u want? think bout it sister!

smile

something dat make me so confused, she, told me everything, bout friendship, the betrayals, and lots of bad things, bout her friends.. but she also told me dat, she dsnt like the way her friends talk at the back on her own friends.. so, the statement she made, 'y they alwiz talking back bout their own friends?' it sounds to me like, u did the same thing, lady...

diz one, she's nice on her own way, but im not dat kinda very interesting to get close to her, but the news she spread, maybe i need to know a little bit, yeah, since me alwiz on the front page.. lots of people dont like me fer who i am.. but i dnt care, there's a lot friends i have, dat dnt care bout wat i did, as long as im gud to them..

judging is very common nowadays, they said, diz is wrong, diz is right.. or more specifically, 'im right, they are all wrong'.. answer me diz, how come people hate u so much, if u were right? if u are a kind person..?

here's a lady, she's very nice, sweet, very innocence, she never complaint bout me.. she understands me.. if she complaint bout me, of course, i agree with her, cez she is very kind.. i know.. but if, someone, who dnt even know who they really are, talking shit bout me, it will reflex back to who they really are.. are they jealous or wat? i dnt know..they look very stupid when they said doz bad words to me, cez they are worst.. wat i do, smile and thought to myself, 'how stupid they are'...

diz guy, especially, feels like, he is very religious, and fer me, he jez talk nonsense..u know y i said dat? cez, all the thing he said, lots of bullshit.. he is to me, likes to interpret something gud to something bad and hard to understand.. Islam is simple and not too hard to understand, but diz guy, he jez makes all the things hard..

'no, this is haram, dat is halal' which obviously, unacceptable..pliz, man, all u have to do is, hold on to the basic..i cant say more, cez me, myself not dat religious, but, i do know wat i have to know.. but if u want to stick with dat weird things, go on.. ive told u wat i have to tell u, its up to u man.. hopefully, wat u did is gud and not in the wrong path..hopefully not..

so, wat i have to do, to get thru my life here is to cheer up..smile no matter wat.. crazy, its better than being a psychotic..huhu..

weird

relationships..

i dnt understand one thing bout relationships..ive seen a lot in front of my eyes..yeah, some sweet, some bad..

diz one, dat involved slapping, kicking, watsoever shit..fer me, dat is totally way off..women, they are very soft creature.. yeah, a trouble maker too, but y cant jez sit and talk fer dat? y need diz karate lessons? fer me communication is very important in a relationship.. if anything seems wrong, u talk, discuss how to make it right..yeah, jez talk, dnt hit!

stalking...some guys or women, they love to make their friends as a stalker.. follow their bf/gf, to see if they cheated on them or wat.. y they need this? at diz point, trust cuts in..yeah, if u love them, trust them..act like ur their partner not a detective.. urgh!

if they say they dont want u anymore, pliz do understand dat..dnt force them to love u, jez because u love them so much..dat is so selfish, u know..maybe the partner found something wrong in the relationship, dats y they wanna back off..please respect the decision..do u want them to accept u because of symphathy? dats pathetic!

put them in a box, wat? u think they are a bday present? ur still couple, not married yet.. they have their own life, u got ur own..be cool, again, trust honey..pliz..if they love u, of course they already set the limits in their social life..trust, trust and trust, okay..

weird but pliz, if u really wanna save ur relationship, work out between u both..dont involve anyone else, it will get worst...gud luck, aii!